The Love-Trust dichotomy becomes more important when we move from
family and personal ties to corporate ties. the mistake of mixing the Love with Trust continues. I have seen quite a number of situationswhere leader commit the mistake of allowing personal love to dictate their business decision relating to other individuals.
same person trusts me, it places a duty on me to live up to that trust. In other words, Trust challenges one to reciprocate; Love might not always do that.
If I love a person it is a feeling which is internal to me and it can
only be manifested after there is an attained degree of love I have for that person. I would love that person irrespective of what that person’s action/reaction.But Trust is definitely different. The very concept of Trust involves
a two way relationship. we can’t keep trusting a person if that person is not ready to live up to our trust? with all sense of honesty it will be inappropriate if we go on trusting someone who has not lived up to our expectations?one doesn’t really need those factors that makes up love,rather to establish trust
Our personality ,maturity and ability to reciprocate trust is assessed.
It is also important in our life to understand and differentiate Love
and Trust. When we tangle these two feelings, we might end up losing both.it is will love a person towards whom he/she feels love for, irrespective of that person’s reaction.
Being a father or mother or spouse or child does not automatically
make one object of love or trust(example there are lot of things kids or parent don’t tell each other because the trust isn’t there). That feeling must rise in the heart/mind of the lover.Loving someone whom we trust(example if I trust that my girl friend
can never cheat on me then I would never be jealous even if she keeps a long list of male contact. ) may still be advisable to trusting someone whom we love. The latter could be a disaster in the making.Living up to another’s trust has nothing to do with love. It is a matter of honour and duty than of Love. A person who is perfectly in
love may still cheat if he is not a person who is bound by honour and duty.
Love is an irrational feeling that requires a feeling of being loved.
But same is not true for Trust. Trust must be based on solid reasons.We must have reasons (at least a
judgement) for us to trust or distrust another person. It may be based on our past experiences;feedback that we receive from others or even mere gut feeling. We got to be conscious that while trusting someone we must make a critical choice unlike while loving someone we may just listen to what our heart dictates. I do not agree with Ernest Hemingway when he says
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them”.
That way, it will be too late when you actually find out the answer.
Love may come straight from the heart but Trust must arise from the
mind. Love could be built in quite a very short time(love at first
sight),but trust takes some real quality time to build.
So for me it has come to my understanding that in every relationship
that will stand the test of time trust should go before love rather
than the other way round. So what do you suggest or think?.
Please note: this write up is open to contributions and suggestions
incase we missed out.
Petersonconsultant@yahoo.com
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